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  • What type of Arachnid can stay under water for hours at a time?
    A spider in a submarine!
  • Waiter, waiter, what is this spider doing in my salad?
    Looking for the flies we usually have in there!
  • Why did the fly fly?
    Because the spider spied her!
  • Where do most spiders live?
  • What do you get if you cross a spider with a computer?
    A web page!


  • What do you get when you cross a snake with a magician?
  • Why can you never swindle a snake?
    Because you can't pull its leg!
  • What sort of snake will tell on you?
    A grass snake!
  • What does Tarzan have for tea?
    Snake and Pygmy pie and chips!
  • What is a snake's favourite subject?
  • What do you get if you cross a snake with a building site?
    A boa-constructor!
  • What do you call a snake that is good at maths?
    An Adder of course!


  • How do snails get ready for a special night out?
    They put on some snail-varnish of course!
  • What do you call a snail's favourite clothes?
    A shell-suit!

Stick Insects:

  • There's a stick insect in my salad --- fetch me the branch manager immediately!

Other insects:

  • What do you call a bee that is always complaining?
    A grumble bee!


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